Tuesday 26 August

Woke up on a couch staring at a green wall. In between the burning feeleing inside my skull I try to piece last night together. Get to about the seventh free sponsored Stella before Bongo comes in with remains of last nights bunny chow in one hand and a 2litre coke in the other. Really don't know how we gonna make it to friday at this pace.

Today looks light, shifty and lumpy - a real test of patience. I score two portions of the full cholesterol breakfast and a few cushions from the clubhouse, perfect preparations for a drifting day lying on a hot boat.

Sparky follows the District at the start, pity that everyone has the same idea of marking the hotshots. We even have a rough crowd swearing at us in Portuguese. Not that I speak Portuguese, but it was all in the inflection and hand signals. There seem to be more languages at this regatta than the Americas Cup.

There's wild switches up the first beat and we seem to tack everytime I get comfy. I have to take a slash halfway up off the back(maybe coffee number 5 was uncalled for), and there's a the all girls boat right next to us. Decency goes out the window in situations like this. Then the students on Chapstick rolled straight past us on the run, they have this dude with a blonde afro who tries to start a fight everytime we see him in the bar, can hear him snoring from the deck today.

Up at the front Daddy's Impatience have had it all their way, but the padler has been flown in from some worlds regatta in the states to drive the Onion Mistress. He jumps straight on the boat and they get the bullet – what a rockstar! He'll be swamped by fans tonight, as long as hes not babysitting. A bunch of vaalies manage to come second somehow by fluking every windshift. The grizzly seemed quite peeved with their third place, I hate to think the carnage if we got a top 3 in any race. Our big rivals the District must have got worried about us on the start line and get an OCS, maybe the Diggler just isn't used to the african sun anymore and couldn't see the line.

Back on the dock I see I have 7 misscalls – from my boss! Turns out I was on TV the other night, really shouldn't have tried to get away with calling in sick every morning. Hopefully they don't really need me at work, and he's just wishing me good luck.

Must admit, these promo girls are a welcome addition to the program, hey any girl in a skimpy outfit at a yacht club is bound to end in disaster. Lets try and avoid some tonight please.